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Pandis go to Salisbury

Pandis Christmas 08

Pandis go to Winchelsea

Farewell, not Goodbye

Pandes at Swanage again


PANdeMINIum Homepage
We are called PANdeMINIums based on the predominant means of transport being PAN European motorcycles and MINIs.

Sadly there are two less Minis and one less Pan now, but the name will live forever!





Who are we......

We are:-


Al Zymer, confused navigator, indeed he is not even sure if he is English or Australian! Al is making every effort to be re-named Val reflecting his dreadful taste in sweaters! Al and Snapdragon have now returned to the Aussie and are mssing us dreadfully!

Al's Song (by Gimli)

Our mate Al Zymer is a boomer
Born just after the Yankies dropped the bomb

Weaned on a bicky peg SMA and powdered egg

It’s a wonder he survived it all to last so long

As a kid he saw the first television And witnessed the birth of rock and roll

There are kids today at school Who would say "That’s pretty cool"
So don’t knock him if you think he’s old !

When our mate Al Zymer was in his twenties He lived in stacked-up shoes and flares

He was a fashion devotee

He dressed outrageously Wore Afgan coats and Tank Tops with alacrity

So don’t let him try to deny it The evidence is there for all to see

Cause now he thinks he can pretend To be fashionable again By wearing his jumpers from the 70’s !

When our mate Al Zymer was in his fifties He knew that his youth had taken a hike

So in a search for long lost years He put aside his fears Invested in some Viagra and a Motorbike

But it never was going to be that simple And it wasn't necessarily the cost

Because when ever he goes out There’s considerable doubt If he’ll get home or if he’ll end up lost

Our mate Al Zymer should be grateful That at 60 he has still got all his bits

He’s got a comfortable life A beautiful loving wife

And a bunch of loyal friends who like to take the piss

A heart of gold is what God gave him But all he really wanted was some hair

The toast is “Al’s the man”


Snappy, Our very own perpetual motion machine who sees the very best in everyone, loves life itself (and Al Zymer)


Statto, Our font of sporting knowledge, although he does need to watch more sport as he hesitated for a nano-second when asked to name the Gloucester full back!!


Checker, famed for her expert eye and quick assessments that have saved us being overcharged for our meals, never far from a calculator!!


Sicknote, A man of many names, moving seamlessly from CRiz2(eh) to Forby, and now Sicknote due to his twice feigning illness to avoid fun & frolics! I can feel a new name coming after the next Sharpthorne WI extravaganza! The Salisbury crew decided that SICKNOTE has served his time as the virus carrier, and that VIC is far more appropriate as he has the skill to get up everyone's nose!


DG, the undisputed Domestic Goddess in our midst!

Gimli Strikes Again! DG's Birthday song,

to tune of Boz Scaggs "Lido Shuffle":

The DG Shuffle

Domestic Goddesses are always hard to find
So it’s dandy that the Pandi’s have got Caroline
Although she’s multi-talented with many a skill
She can still fall off a bike going up a hill
She defends her stance and won’t take a chance when using plastic bags
She puts one bag inside another
Then puts both in another
Then in one more - just in case

DG oh………………Oh
Queen of the stage it ain’t no lie
Star of the WI
DG oh………………Oh
She puts one bag inside another
Then puts both in another
Then in one more - just in case

When things are not fine with Caroline their not her “cup of tea”
But we know that she loves chocolate, chips and gravy
And in her latest show she got rave reviews and cries for more
As the local press were all impressed with her Pussy (Galore)
Caroline likes to take her time getting ready to go out
Keith says “Sometimes it can be handy
To have time to service the Landy
and read War and Peace!”

DG oh………………Oh
Queen of the stage it ain’t no lie
Star of the WI
DG oh………………Oh
She puts one bag inside another
Then puts both in another
Then in one more - just in case

DG oh………………Oh
Now we know why she want us to buy
Shares in ICI
DG oh………………Oh
Elle place un sac dedans un autre
Puis place les deux dedans un autre
C’est encore a tout hassard



Gimli, What he lacks in inside leg length he makes up with his word-smithing and guitar playing skills!


OXO, for it is she that looks after the Stock cupboard at school!



Madame LeCou, famed for her ability to "neck" a drink in no time at all.


Gadge, for once separated from the gadgets that seem to be attracted to him.


The Ballard of Robert Rae

(courtesy of former Colleague Ann Phillips, on the occasion of Gadge's retirement!)

This is the ballad of Robert Rae
Who beat the tunnel guard and got away

Though he’s shuffled off his efficiency role
Benefits and cost avoidance remain his goal
Old habits die hard his attitude is meaner
The very first savings casualty was his poor cleaner

This (almost) boyo is no fool
The cleaners replacement’s his daughter
What a result!
One FTE and pocket money avoidance
Saved in the very first quarter

While Rob cracks the whip he sends poor Di out to work
He spends his days reading Wainwright my god what a perk!
He’ll still have to graft though ay there’s the rub!
A gruelling 5 hours a week at the local bowling club

Pulling pints, measuring grass height,
Taking calls
Possibly setting up a website
But mostly polishing his balls

He’ll replace the blackberry with the tripod
Photography’s not just a hobby
He’ll be playing squash, cycling & walking
To avoid a physique like Mr Blobby

One thing we all know Rob’s a great adaptor
Rumour is, he’s already joined the East Grinstead hells angel chapter

Picture this, no more O.R. slides,
No more business planners
Just getting his leg over
Complete with tattoos and bandannas!

But how the mighty has fallen
A man who’s achieved so many wins
This poor bugger's reduced
To re-arranging tins!

A toast to Rob and Di
To plenty of leisure and nothing but pleasure
From keyboard tapping to holiday mapping
To the new green keeper and hopefully late sleeper
To the new land rover and ferries from Dover
To sexy black leathers – out in all weathers
To holiday plans in the caravan
To Wainright and walks to haw he haw and lots of wine corks

So Brightie and Di
Get ready get steady
Go for it! Enjoy it!
We’re missing you already


A new PANDE Song, Words by Gimli, tune by Billy Joel:

The Pandi’s Christmas Indian night
(Tune of Scenes from an Italian Restaurant – Billy Joel (the Brenda and Eddy bit!))

The 15th of December was a night to remember, the Pandi’s were out on the lash
All the guys and the gals went to Snappy’s and Al’s for an Indian bash
There couldn't be a Bollywood movie
That was more authentic or could have been more groovy
But the Sari’s, and Kurta’s gave the residents quite a fright
But we all had fun at the Pande’s Christmas Indian night

We all thought that Fourby must be stuck in the lobby when we noticed that he didn't show
DG explained he was elsewhere detained and produced another sick note!
And we all felt sorry for Norma
We all agreed she should stick to the korma
And Dan said “you can use my ring if you like!”
But we all had fun at the Pande’s Christmas Indian night

There was a selection of curries, samosa’s and bhajees
It was hard to know where to begin
The table was bowed beneath the weight of the load
But the dishes just kept coming in
I had Champagne and wine and was feeling just fine till the Port just did me in
oh oh oh

After Slacky had been out for some backy he came in and picked up the bass
We pumped out some tunes, and FEB led the moves, as we sang the twelve days
Gadget kept on snapping reactions,
Miss D and Oxo joined in with the actions
And we all agreed that we’d started Christmas right
By having a ball at the Pande’s Christmas Indian night


Guess what, the Pande's are eating again!

Roz is focussed on getting a great shot at the Bluebell railway.....


Check out the amazing new PANDEMINIUM diet, as demonstrated by Sicknote

Just hover you mouse pointer on the image to see the fantastic results of the

soon to be patented PANDE Diet!



We are a group of good friends dedicated to enjoying the company, seeing strange exotic (?) places, eating well, and liberating items of little value, but providing trophies and memories!